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April 1, 2004 #
The Other Page continues its MP3-for-all with a brief look at online dating sites and their would-be companion songs. Friendster - Birthday Party "Friend Catcher" The Friendster Dating Trend Hipster QuotientTM was divided by three months, subtracted by Karen O, then exploded like the Death Star, reversed course while popping a wheelie, started doing figure 8's, ollied over the moon, fell asleep under a tree Upstate for 100 years and now plays guitar in its underwear at Times Square. Nick Cave and gang's "Friend Catcher" sufficiently sums that all up. JDate - Mr. T Experience "Even Hitler Had A Girlfriend" Hold your anti-semitic whining, for I'm a challah-carrying Jew and I mean no disrespect. But you have to admit Dr. Frank has a point here: "He was the worst guy ever, reviled and despised. Even Hitler had a girlfriend so why can't I?" While this sounds dramatic, Jewish singles over 30 feel desperation on near-tragic levels and ask themselves that very question every night crying themselves to sleep. Nerve - Serge Gainsbourg "initials B.B." Before Friendster there was Nerve. In the hey-day of Friendster there was Nerve. After Friendster there will still be Nerve. See what I'm getting at? Of course not, but it's also impossible to follow Serge Gainsbourg if you don't know French. So just sit back, relax, enjoy a smoke, and imagine all the pretty lovers you'll never have. AOL's Love.com - Love & Arthur Lee "Alone Again Or" "Powered by Instant Messenger, used by no one." With a name like Love.com, AOL was obviously hoping to create something perfect, possibly the most romantic dating experience ever. Like when the Luke Wilson character in "Bottle Rocket" reunites with his Paraguayian motel maid to make clean-sheeted love as "Alone Again Or" plays in the background. Such cinema fantasies don't actually play out in real life. Go looking for dates on Love.com and you'll most likely come out alone, again. Craigslist Casual Encounters - Dwarves "Let's Fuck" Short. Fast. Loud. Obnoxious. Dangerous. Messy. Satisfied. So repeat as often as necessary. Match - Beatles "I've Just Seen a Face" Match.com has a new dating tool called the Physical Attraction Test, oddly named since it's more likely to cause repulsion. (More thoughts on this can be found here on Lindsayism.) The idea is to find facial/body preferences through a series of quick excercises that flash pictures that you rate attractive or not. It's all morphed facial features which produces a line-up of backwater inbreds. I understand the logic (barely) but I don't care how much "science" is behind this because you'd have a better chance standing by your favorite food in a grocery store and waiting for the next hot person to pick it up and concluding he/she is your soulmate. So yeah, I've just seen a face as well, too many of them to be precise. Archives "The Other Page" powered by Removable Hype. RSS. Copyright © 2003 La Otra Página, Inc. All nights observed. Feel free to email "info(at)krucoff.com" for questions, comments, stock tips, and family gossip. |
