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April 30, 2004 #
 United Colors of Avenue Benetton: University House Room Assignments for Mock UN in the East Village Big 'Bucks Hunters and The Not-So-Perfect Dorm We live with unveiled threats of terrorism everyday. If it's not robots invading the city then it's swooping hawks in search of a Chihuahua dinner in Central Park. You can read the Self-and-Home Protection manuals provided by the government for tips about duct-taping your family together or the proper prayer to say before a dinner of canned vegetables in the event of a power outage but these are band-aid measures. You can sidestep the shit on the sidewalks, you can avoid the unpleasantness of subway stench by taking a taxi or staying inside but you will never escape the looming shadow of apocalyptic arms farther-reaching than biblical plagues: CORPORATE INFILTRATION AND GENTRIFYING HOUSING PROPOSALS. (Cue the music: any will do, as long as the record has been skipping for the last 40+ years.) Evil comes in many forms but it's never more pure than when delivered by a suited man wiping sweat from his upper lip in a Mercedes that will drive you around the block for $60. Other times it's presented in soothing aromas, rich flavor, and decorated with modern, comfortable furniture people. It's this second incarnation that gives us the unholy specter of: Starbucks. Little point in discussing the specifics of a particular chain, especially in this case since I don't even drink coffee, but Abe at Abstract Dynamics says this about the Starbucks myth: Biggest lie of the 90's. I'm sure there is a local shop or two that's been closed due to a new Starbucks opening, one or two someplace. But the truth is that there are dramatically more local coffee shops in the US now then when Starbucks started their expansion. Starbucks wasn't taking over markets, it was creating them. And by creating demand for $5 lattes they opened the doors for a lot of shops that otherwise wouldn't exist. So next time you chill in your indie coffee whole thank Starbucks for opportunity, ya hear. Apparently, rumors are swirling like caramel lattes that a Starbucks franchise will be opening in the East Village. Coupled with the equally menacing student housing proposal pictured above (codename: Dormsday) that threatens to rip apart the moral fabric of a community and then re-stitch it into a giant tapestry reeking of weed, there's a festival atmosphere of outrage -- a localpalooza of protest. Citizens are stocking up on wartime rations (mutton, free indie coffee!) and paramilitary groups known as "The Avenuers" are parading as Squeaky Fromme inspired bandistas. Even "cheerleaders of change" are confused with which way to twirl their batons. Everyone stop, this is silly. "There goes the neighborhood" has been thrown around this island since it was bought for 60 guilders worth of Dutch crap. The most obnoxious voices in debates of "sooooul-ruuuuining arrrrrchitecture" and displacement of mom-and-pop stores are almost always the so-called "activists" with no sense of history other than their own. NYC (and its future) is (and will always be) based on the concept of growth and change. It's an endless loop of development, construction and protest where the only differences are the people with short-term memories. Certain residents romanticize a seedy 70's Times Square but you can bet your bikini bottom dollar there was resistance every step of the way through its many transformations. How about what we now consider as New York's defining landmarks? There were critics of the Chrysler Building and The WTC project was "widely denounced as a supreme example of self-glorifying monumentalism on the part of unaccountable, autonomous public authorities." The lesson here: perspective and acceptance that this City is bigger than you and your concerns will go a long way. One generation's eyesore is another's historic example of vision. Archives "The Other Page" powered by Removable Hype. RSS. Copyright © 2003 La Otra Página, Inc. All nights observed. Feel free to email "info(at)krucoff.com" for questions, comments, stock tips, and family gossip. |
