|
|
February 16, 2004 #
   1. Ben and Whoopi: "Hey, do I look cool in this jacket?" 2. President Bush: "I like speed." 3. LeAnn Rimes: "Put your fingers up my country music..." Several people scoffed at my NASCAR content last week and even questioned if I was being "ironic." I'm not sure that word even exists anymore but I can assure you I do everything in earnest. OK, maybe I do almost nothing in earnest but I do find this racing stuff kinda interesting and isn't NYC/media/current events/whiny views of "life" pretty well covered to death elsewhere? And what if I said I watched the Daytona 500 yesterday with Michael Moore, Jack White, and others who I am not allowed to name, in a prominent actor's Tribeca loft where we listened to the Detroit Cobras and Demolition Doll Rods? Yeah, so suck it and stick that in your urban redneck hat look. (For you music historians out there I need not re-tell rock-n-roll's long running fascination with car culture.) Now let me tell you how this stuff remotely affects you. President Bush and Ben Affleck shared the race day Grand Marshal duties, a job which apparently requires two irritating assholes to perform. Bush was there courting the "NASCAR Dad" vote, which is comprised of middle-to-lower class Southern "gentlemen" who make economic decisions based solely on what products their favorite drivers are shilling for. They also don't mind their sons and daughters are now dying for Bush's re-election efforts even though he once avoided war duty like drivers dodge the "big one" on super speedways. It's a strange demo, I know. Of course, Daytona is in Florida if you don't know your geography or E!'s Wild On Spring Break series and that's Bush, George and Jeb, country. For the record, GW said to the press "I like speed" in case you had any doubts about his past drug use. If politics isn't your flask of whiskey then there was also no shortage of pop culture icons on hand for the sport's premier event. Whoopi Goldberg was the honorary green flag starter which I think marks the first time an African-American woman attended a NASCAR event. Affleck was well received by the crowd as he drove the pace car in the pre-race countdown even though I was yelling at Dale Jr (I mean, the television) to bump and run his ass into the wall. Actor James Caviezel was in driver Bobby Labonte's pit for the race since his car was sponsored by "The Passion of the Christ" with its movie poster ad covering the hood. God might love the NASCAR community but only blessed the car with an 11th place finish, six spots ahead of the under performing Pope Mobile. The real highlight of the day, besides the "not if but when" crashes, was Jack White dropping his beer into a bowl of pretzels and the rest of us looking at him like he just ripped the biggest nacho cheese fart. Dude, pull it together. Note: Some names were changed to protect the reticent. Archives "The Other Page" powered by Removable Hype. RSS. Copyright © 2003 La Otra Página, Inc. All nights observed. Feel free to email "info(at)krucoff.com" for questions, comments, stock tips, and family gossip. |
