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February 17, 2004 #
The Week Magazine's panel luncheon on "Love" last week has been covered extensively elsewhere but per the norm, The Other Page likes to be the first at the table (regrettably I really was) and last to comment. I was surrounded by Howard Sherman, Elizabeth Spiers, EuroTrash, Dawn Eden, Man in a Yellow Hattan, Aaron Bailey, and further down the table were Jen Cheung, Amy Langfield, Paul Frankenstein, and some others who I probably should have met. There's really nothing to add that they haven't already quoted and dissected, which is a good thing because as I review my notes from the afternoon all I see is a crude rendering of a six-eyed, hairy trapezoid caught in a tornado with the following words scribbled below it: "the english girl next to me has a magnifico rack." I think she caught me staring but instead of scolding me she offered a parlor trick from her North London match days. She wedged pieces of shrimp between her bosom and shot them into my mouth. She laughed, I gagged, and we both remarked like Julia Roberts in that tale of ever-lasting hooker love, Pretty Woman: "slippery little suckers." The only thing missing was some Old Bay seasoning. We held hands for the rest of the afternoon and shed tears reminiscing about White Hart Lane's glory years. This was perhaps the single greatest commentary on "Love" the whole day. In a room full of aging writers and media types talking about sex, the temptation to snicker and whisper jokes throughout the program was too overwhelming to contain. This probably was the reason I was called "acerbic" by Dawn Eden, an interesting lady who can effortlessly make references to Rod Argent's Zombies or God's Urgent Warnings in a single breath. But really, I'm a flowery fellow. If I am acerbic it's only because I'm Jewish and that makes it my born-against right to be so. (Wait, "acerbic" means gassy right? Yes, then I am definitely acerbic.) As far as the actual panel discussion on "Love" I think Farrah Fawcett said something about bathing her sons and the six year old boasted "mine is bigger than yours" which pretty much opens and closes the book on everything you ever wanted to know about men. # # # ***Bonus Love Material from my Use Only In Case of an Emergency Folder*** Love defined in popular music titles. "Love is..." Alive. Joan Osbourne Dead. Mr T Experience a Good Thing. Sheryl Crow a Catastrophe. Pet Shop Boys a Hard Waltz. Nanci Griffith a Contact Sport. Whitney Houston Like a Big Brass Band. Joni Mitchell Like Jazz. Magnetic Fields Like A River. Stevie Nicks Like a Bottle of Gin. Magnetic Fields a Burning Question. Graham Parker the Answer. Tina Arena a Bastard. Subhumans a Cannibal. Elton John Waiting. Kylie Minogue On the Way. Celine Dion All. Air Supply Nothing. Liz Phair Stronger Than Justice. Sting Stronger Than Pride. Sade the Drug. Roxy Music A Rose. Neil Young a Battlefield. Pat Benatar Archives "The Other Page" powered by Removable Hype. RSS. Copyright © 2003 La Otra Página, Inc. All nights observed. Feel free to email "info(at)krucoff.com" for questions, comments, stock tips, and family gossip. |
