"The Other Page"

January 14, 2004 #


These Boots Are Made For Talkin' Shit

Two things that excite The Other Page are aimed right at your head and feet - sports and fashion, but never "sports fashion." (Essay forthcoming next week on Metroperplexuality.)

1. No-Limit Bullshit Texas Fuck'em. Roger Clemens is a dick. Let me try to re-phrase that, Roger Clemens is a dick. (Sorry, did my best.) But the news of him bluffing retirement in the face of Steinbrenner and Yankee fans is absolutely hilarious. Think Scotty Nguyen drinking a Coors Gold, mocking the rest of his table with a $100,000 bet and nothing but an off-suit 8 and 3 in his hand. Clemens got the Humvee, the farewell tour, the Bronx Cheer and many queer hard-ons. Then came The Flop: World Series loss. Next up, "Memo To City Hall, Giuliani's Fat Son, Points Between, and Vendors on One-hundred Sixty-4th Street: Don't let the 'fuck off' hit you on my way out." Finally, The River: we Harlem knew ya. Clemens was an ass with the Red Sox, and a bigger ass with the Yankees. Roger that. While I laugh at the joke he made of both organizations, I do sincerely hope some National League pitcher "forces" his retirement in an on-deck circle jerk.

2. The latest footwear trend making the messy tracks at Conde Nast HQ. I was tipped to this from one of my many insidies and while it may seem outdated, I can assure you that everything old is Jewish again. The transcript follows as such:

CN: all i want is to wear my new rubber boots
CN: the new uggs, you know
TOP: galoshes?
CN: yes
CN: i saw 2 girls wearing them in the caf today
TOP: so are these the galoshes of old or some new kind of rubber boots?
CN: mmm, i don't think they generally have the handles that real galoshes have
CN: and they are really colorful or plaid
CN: mine are hot pink. i've seen hot orange, too.
TOP: oh oh, yeah. galoshes without the handles in rainbow colors. just like lucky charms. magically ridiculous.
CN: something like that. anyway these boots can be seen at all those david's shoe stores on broadway, but are kind of sold out everywhere
TOP: honey, thomas pink sold these last year and urban outfitters can't stock enough. so whats next, moon boots and killer space weed?


Archives

"The Other Page" powered by Removable Hype. Copyright © 2003 La Otra Página, Inc. All nights observed. Feel free to email "info(at)krucoff.com" for questions, comments, stock tips, and family gossip.