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June 18, 2004 #
Thank God It's FagDay Has this been the gayest week ever or what? It's everywhere, that hyphenated word which means so little but takes so much. You can find it in faces on the subway and streets, inbetween the lines of Reagan tributes, shot across West Side Highway billboards, and dripping off the backs of chihuahua owners. Yes, I'm talking about "butt-sex." It's become so accepted (home-training videos are now available in Virginia!) that I'm not really sure it's all that gay anymore. In any case, we're not gonna discuss butt-sex here. What would be the point? Just look around, you'll catch some. BUT, (oops!) we do like theme days around here so let's begin the gay-splashing.  Oh dear god. We thought the same. It's Jesse Oxfeld, editor-in-chief of Mediabistro. While running for our lives with the other Meatpackers, we ran into him Wednesday night at the book launch party for fashion/celeb portrait photographer Platon. (Holy crap, look at Donald Sutherland in bottom left -- separated at birth from Buzzmachine's Jeff Jarvis??) You know Platon's photos, lots of confident cocks - or rather, cocky celebs sitting in chairs with their legs open. The night started with much promise, lots of trays filled with mojitos and retardo fashion types with faux-hawks to keep things interesting. (This trend is NOT dying soon!) The promise of big name celebs fell short much like the chintzy appetizers. (It's 8pm, you're getting me drunk, FEED ME you fuckin' assholes!) Not really in the mood to strike up conversation with that dude wearing seashells on the ass of his jeans, we were stuck with The Ox. Here's a limp-wristed, lisp-mangled part of our exchange: Oxfeld: I'm like the least appearing gay guy you know! Gage: That's because you're fat and rather Jewish-looking. Oxfeld: C'mon, you didn't know I was gay at first. Gage: But I knew you were fat... Krucoff: Hold on, I'll give you that. It escaped me when I first met you. But now that I know, you're so obviously gay. Anyway, he went on to describe his favorites in the Mediabistro Who's Hot/Not poll. I'll state for the record now that when the final tallies are whacked, the headline will shriek, "Anna Wintour Wuz Robbed!" How dare they use such a menopausal photo of her!! (Wait, is that really a drag queen? Shhhhit.) The only other "media type" we spotted was Esquire editor-in-chief, David Granger who clearly rides his crotch-rocket on the hot/not fence. He's neither. Looking quite lost, he took the form of a human void often shuffling around solo. Clearly the straight arrow doggy-paddling in a sea of gayness, his time was not long there. So we split too, right before the 10pm anal-fisting. # # # Chris and I often fight like gay lovers, but it's only because he can be a total bitch sometimes. Like not pitching in with his minimal editorial obligations. We play, we fight, we make-up. Here's what happened yesterday when he couldn't produce one freakin' column for the week. kiddigit: I'm not an asshole, asshole kiddigit: omg this is so playa hater and stupid it is shocking kiddigit: really kiddigit: what ap playa haters kiddigit: look at the comments kiddigit: The tone of your comments is a bit odd, krucoff kiddigit: you owe me a huge public apology kiddigit: you know krucoff, this is either that your desperate to get attention, jealous, stupid or wrote this post while not thinking. kiddigit: really disappointed in you. kiddigit: Personal attacks on me that have no basis in reality... kiddigit: you just jumped the shark... kiddigit: and took TOP with you kiddigit: idiot kiddigit: how dare you say shit about me. kiddigit: really. krucoff: jeez, man- take it down ten notches- the tone of the post is clearly playful kiddigit: you are fucking asshole piece of shit krucoff: I'm not allowed to question you? (heh, you also kinda sound like a pissed off foreigner) kiddigit: how dare you say shit about my column kiddigit: are you so stupid you dont see how I would be insulted by that? krucoff: jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez, louise. kiddigit: go fuck yourself asshole kiddigit: i kiddigit: m done with you kiddigit: signed off at 1:23:06 PM. # # # Gay much? The top search phrase for this site (I shit you not) so far this month is: lockhart steele gay # # # That's all, as usual, have a fag-fuckin-tastic weekend!! Archives "The Other Page" powered by Removable Hype. RSS. Copyright © 2003 La Otra Página, Inc. All nights observed. Feel free to email "info(at)krucoff.com" for questions, comments, stock tips, and family gossip. |
