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March 2, 2004 #
 Foreskin crying out loud, it's Uncle Miltie on Super Jewsday! I was digging through the McSweeney's archives and came across Neal Pollock's tour diary. One passage caught my attention since it reminded me of a conversation I overheard about Jewish guys and penis size. One Goyish girl boasted to the others that her Jewish boyfriend informed her he was the rare Heeb with a huge hog. This of course is nothing but baseless phallic grandstanding. I can think of at least one other Jew from Queens who would be greatly offended by that statement. Shalom, Ron Jeremy anyone? But there are many more. Let the prima facie testimony below (Exhibit A) serve to disprove that claim. Exhibit A, Excerpt from Neal Pollack's 2002 Tour Diary: 10. After the show, a woman approached me and said, "I really appreciated that poem you did about the Big Jew Cock. Because I have a guy, he's not my boyfriend, we don't fuck, he's just someone I fool around with. He's Jewish, and I can feel his cock through his pants. It's very thick. Really thick. So you're accurate." I replied, "that poem is based on years of field research." She said, "I usually make him come in his pants." I thanked her for the story and moved along. The thing is, when God marked the "chosen people" he anointed them with large, strapping cocks while other desert civilizations were given sacred cows, lambs, and leather sex aids like the Arab-strap. Jews are often guilty of self-deprecation, but that's just a shtick and deep down (at least below the belt) the shtick is swelling with pride. Note to other religious sects: Sorry, converting won't help but if you're thinking metric I hear those enlargement programs can add up to two inches, or rather, 5 centimeters. Archives "The Other Page" powered by Removable Hype. RSS. Copyright © 2003 La Otra Página, Inc. All nights observed. Feel free to email "info(at)krucoff.com" for questions, comments, stock tips, and family gossip. |
