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March 3, 2004 #
 What the world needs now is another tribute band assembled with New Jersey grade school kids. The Other Page's Media/Metal correspondent, Chris Gage, checked out the phenomenon known as: Li'l Gn'R AN IMAGINED CONVERSATION BETWEEN DISAFFECTED FATHER AND HIS CHILD (A TWEEN WHO HATES LIVING IN WILLIAMSBURG) AT A ROCK "SHOW" IN NYC's LOWER EAST SIDE Scene: Li'l G n R concert at CB's Gallery, late February 2004. The band is "playing" "Welcome to the Jungle." It's the moment in the song when Axl moans and groans lasciviously -- a dirty mind's release of his depraved sexual energy and violent tension -- a Tween turns to her father and speaks. Tween: Why is Li'l Axl making that noise? It sounds like those TV shows you watch late at night when mommy's sleeping. Dad: No, no. Uh . . . that's the cathartic howl of Axl's rage and misplaced longing. GnR were decadent and grown men who were a conduit for our considerable anger during the length of the '80s. At their height, they could momentarily wash the bad taste from our collective mouths befouled by our disgust. Tween: I don't like it. It's scaring me, and it sounds dirty. Dad: It's not scary or dirty, dear. It's nostalgic. Time has passed, oh daughter of mine, and what once was naked spine-tingling fury is now amusing and sardonic -- something we can wink at like when we're keeping secrets or giving mommy a hard time. [gestures to gentleman in the front row; to the audience] Notice how that one man with the red headband is taking photos with a Polaroid. Tween: It's hard to watch. That girl is shaking like it hurts when she pees. Dad: That's a boy. He's Li'l Slash. He is the ying to Li'l Axl's yang (remember our eastern religion conversations at the Buddhist retreat in the Catskills?): the visceral manifestation of anger. Duff, over there on stage right, is rock-star ennui personified. Tween: Maybe Li'l Duff doesn't like how loud it is. [short pause, listens to music] Why is a "very sexy girl" so "very hard to please"? And why would Li'l Axl "wanna hear you scream"? Dad: [long pause and slow painful realization] You won't tell your mother about this, will you? Tween: Take me to Dan Zanes & Friends in Prospect Park and I'll keep my mouth shut. Archives "The Other Page" powered by Removable Hype. RSS. Copyright © 2003 La Otra Página, Inc. All nights observed. Feel free to email "info(at)krucoff.com" for questions, comments, stock tips, and family gossip. |
