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March 8, 2004 #
For the record -- even though this seems mathematically improbable given the infinite permutations of places to live, work, and things to do online -- there is not one person who lives in Williamsburg, works at Conde Nast, and maintains a regularly updated website known as a "blog." While just a miscalculated theorem a mere week ago, conclusive research has now been publicly made available which proves beyond a shadow of Terry Richardson's clout that no such individual has ever existed. (This now occupies Law #137 in the Universal Truths of Blogging -- a full copy is available here but don't look directly at it or you might try to climb back into your mother's womb.) With a grant from the Center of Self-Centered Media, the Village Voice and NY Press, I was able to buy a 12-pack of Red Stripe, some weed, a DNA Test Kit for High School Biologists, access to Conde Nast's HR database and Bunsen's Comprehensive Geo-coded Guide to People Who Blog, 2nd Edition. (The one that contains the bonus addendum: Fish Taco Stands South of Pico.) While the complex query returned ZERO hits I did find this guy, Damian Swiz.  He once lived on Driggs, temped at Lucky for a week (hooked up with 2 staffers) but his only contributions to online writing are a bunch of anonymous comments left on friends' blogs. No cigar, not even a roach. In reality, there are only three people who have ever blogged about Conde Nast and none of them worked there or lived in Williamsburg. Incidentally, I'm one and I did it mainly to get the attention of the other two. But ever since I made my first pilgrimage to 4 Times Square, it has become my Jerusalem. You need only replace "Christians, Muslims, and Jews" with "Women, Gays, and uh, Jews" to get an idea of how holy (and complete) the place really is. Its history is filled with passion fruit cocktails, personalities crucified, magazines resurrected from the dead, lepers healed, water turned into fine living titles, and the occasional crapper cat fight. Lately I've been settling on IM dispatches from the front lines. Check back tomorrow for the most recent CN HQ update concerning everyone's favorite topics: food, bathrooms, and shoes. Archives "The Other Page" powered by Removable Hype. RSS. Copyright © 2003 La Otra Página, Inc. All nights observed. Feel free to email "info(at)krucoff.com" for questions, comments, stock tips, and family gossip. |
