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March 24, 2004 #

Two years ago I got an interesting birthday gift from a friend who works at Daily Candy. It was a self-help book written by Candice Carpenter, founder and ex-CEO of iVillage where I worked for a little under a year between 1999-2000. I tell ya, it was a non-stop laugh riot a minute in a barrel full of lab monkeys. Each page carved out its own little Mount Flushmore of crap advice and stoned, lunatic ramblings. It was an attempted hangover cure for dotcom desperation and depression but she forgot to take the requisite morning meds with it.

I just found the email I wrote back then to a few friends that took this concept even further with a verbatim quote from the book. While the joke is pretty old and only relevant to a handful of people now, if that, I offer the newly resurrected full-blown parody once again for wider distribution.

Daily Candi is your ultimate source for self-actualization. It's like getting an e-mail from your crazy, unpredictable and totally off-the-rails worst boss who always has the poop-scoop taken care of by someone else.
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