|
|
March 31, 2004 #
Welcome to Tesco Vee's War of the Superbikes hosted by Lee Ving of Fear. Tonight we are ditching the saxophones and entering a warzone arena of rock-n-roll juggernaucity covered in blood, guts, and pussy. Here we repeat "fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck the Beatles" and update our plea with "two down, two to go." Without further constipation, let's go tooling for anus cause we're The Other Page...and you still suck. Best Drug-Inspired Song to Kick Someone's Ass Supersuckers "Ron's Got the Cocaine" vs. Dwarves "Fuck You Up and Get High" Technically, ALL songs by the Supersuckers and Dwarves are drug-inspired moments of knuckle-knocking on the corpses of weaker elements in our society but for simplicity's sake we feature these two harrowin' tracks. "Ron's Got the Cocaine" gets the early nod on the hilarity of its title alone but in the end you can't beat the 40 second delivery of "Fuck You Up and Get High." It's like, basically I'm gonna fuck your shit up and THEN get high. Order is everything and that's a lesson every kid in high school should remember. Best Punk Rock Song about Budding Homosexuality Screeching Weasel "I Wanna be a Homosexual" vs. NOFX "Liza and Louise" Hide your ass cause now the fists really come out. Both are solid numbers and will make any home music collection more open-minded and gay-friendly. This version of SW's "I Wanna be a Homosexual" is unfortunately handicapped because it is without Bruce LaBruce's intro monologue which I guess is only on the 7" record version. Still, it's fag-fuckin-tastic and when Ben Weasel declares "you don't have the balls to be a queer" you can't help but feel all apologetic to your gay friends. On the other side of this same-sex soaker, Fat Mike of NOFX spins a beautiful tale of lesbian love with "Liza and Louise." This is the song you hear when fantasizing about a panty raid in the middle of a SuicideGirls slumber party pillow fight. Winner? Everyone. Best Anti-Technology Song Men's Recovery Project "Email is a Men's Room" vs. Le Tigre "Get off the Internet" MRP's Sam McPheeters might be our generation's only real genius (besides this guy) and all material, dating back to Born Against and before, should be tracked down and studied religiously. You always knew this online stuff was just crap but MRP might have been the first to write the definitive email song. It's a toilet bowl, man. Le Tigre, with its own ex-"it band" pedigree (Bikini Kill) is no less pissed off about the dehumanization effects of the Interweb. When they scream "get off the internet!" they really mean it and it ain't about porn. In this round, "Email..." takes home the coveted prize but only because it would mean so little to them. Archives "The Other Page" powered by Removable Hype. RSS. Copyright © 2003 La Otra Página, Inc. All nights observed. Feel free to email "info(at)krucoff.com" for questions, comments, stock tips, and family gossip. |
