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May 11, 2004 #
SPEND A WEEKEND ON THE LOWER EAST SIDE FOR TWO DOLLARS!!! That's right, you can get the keys to a gen-x-u-wine LES apartment in a pre-war building (Gulf War, dude!) with the occasional mouse and fuck-moaning neighbor for a Fri-Sun romp-her-room at the cost of a bottle of two-buck chuck. How is this infanamazintasticredible deal possible? Don't ask, it just is! Paypal me $2 along with an essay, 20 words or less, that describes the feeling you get when spotting Carlos from Interpol on the street. One lucky (oops, not "luck" but talented!) entry will be deemed the weekend winner of bread-crumbing your puke between Pianos, Schiller's Liquor Bar and a conveniently located hashpad. Don't delay, this contest is void for the inhibited and may be cancelled if less than 10,000 people enter. Good luck, I mean, writing! So, some gregarious ass-munches in the East Village are offering an NEA-like grant to someone dying to get a six-month taste of the town all for the cost of a bag of blow and two beers. How special. And very. Listen up folks (and pardon the Rob Sterling-style rant you're about to witness if you choose to continue) but these type of contests have been going on forever, and rarely with much success. They were popularized in the early 90's when a Maine couple offered their vacation home as a prize in an essay contest. Of course, the entry fee was $100. I remember this since it was a nearby Annapolis, MD couple who "won." Half a million dollars was collected. Here's the quick history of it: CNN - Essay Contest The article doesn't go into this but I think at one point the bubbas and shucksters got so caught up in the frenzy that writing/judging an essay was clearly too much of a hassle for the Ma and Pa Kettles of America. Quick solution: fuck the pretense and make it a "raffle" with tickets! State legislatures were quick to move on that and banned those as illegal lotteries. BUT, the essay contests remain legal since courts ruled them as games of "skill" and not chance. Mmmhmm... Either way, send me $2 with 20 words and let's see if we can get a year's worth of rent payments in my pockets by Friday. (email: info at krucoff dot com.) Update: The moronie kids cancelled the offer! You know what that means, right? Add another dollar you were gonna spend on that and now you can enter my "Weekend on the LES" Con Test 35 times!! Archives "The Other Page" powered by Removable Hype. RSS. Copyright © 2003 La Otra Página, Inc. All nights observed. Feel free to email "info(at)krucoff.com" for questions, comments, stock tips, and family gossip. |
